I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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