glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
