he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
