Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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