Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
