The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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