Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
