I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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