It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize