You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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