The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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