coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize