Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize