The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
