he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
