You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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