Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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