Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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