just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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