if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
