Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
