Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
