he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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