I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
