the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
