So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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