my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize