Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
my poor anus
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
