so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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