yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
