I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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