remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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