dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
