Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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