You were right. It hurts to walk today.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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