we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
