I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
