dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
