Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
