Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
