That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
