The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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