I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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