problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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