obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
