What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
