I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
