Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
