The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
