everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
