Where did you get a picture of my penis
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
