I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
