I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
