Im at strip club and am horny
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
