Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
