PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
