So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
