we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
