Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
