This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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