I puked a lego.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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