nut hugger
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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