you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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