I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
