he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My vagina is officially offended.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
